I am Brian Lain. When I was in Middle School, I spent two years in the musical as the pit-orchestra trumpeter. It was something I really loved, but my parents strongly opposed the idea of spending long hours at practices.
I’m sure everyone have relatable experiences. So today, I want to share some of my viewpoints and experiences with criticisms while pursuing my passion. Dealing with criticisms will always be a complex process that prompts self-reflection and future planning.
To simplify the process, the first step is to filter out the non-constructive criticisms.
What do I mean by deconstructive? Deconstructive criticisms are more like personal attacks and put-downs. These are criticisms that we should just forget and not even think about. The easiest way to filter out non-constructive criticisms will be thinking about the person’s intentions and the delivery of critic’s criticisms .
Remember how I talked about my parents’ disapproval about me being a part of the pit orchestra? That is not an example of a non-constructive criticism, instead it is a constructive criticism. How can I tell? I think about their intentions, that they want me to stay healthy by sleeping early and not being overly stressed with academics. When I listen to them after taking a deep breath, their tone and reasoning were delivered in a calm and considerate fashion.
On the other hand, my classmates just told me to quit as they thought it was a waste of time, exaggerating to the world about my stupidity simply because I joined. See the difference? One was done with empathy and the other one was done with disrespect. One was done with logical reasoning and considerations while the other was done with anxiety and vagueness.
As for intentions? My interpretation is that they want to find a victim to make fun of or they don’t want me to join and surpass their trumpet skills. This is an example of deconstructive or non-constructive criticisms, which should be forgotten and filtered out as soon as possible.
The difference in intentions and delivery of constructive vs. non-constructive criticism(s) :